Characters

 The JSP:  My name is The Jump Seat Pixie and I run this here blog. I'm pretty much the only 5-foot-eleven-inch pixie you'll ever see flitting around the Internet. My favorite color is Cap'n Crunch and I'm a professional breather. If I were to describe myself in ten words or less, I would say: "Flammable". I have a sneaking suspicion I would catch fire if I made contact with said fire. This has yet to be confirmed, however. 

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy being a cartoon. If you're not one yet, I recommend the switch from matter to a two-dimensional conceptual image: life is way better as a cartoon character. You can't die, things can be crazily out of proportion on your body, and if you get pissed at someone, just drop an anvil or a safe on 'em. 

Lastly, if I were to make the world a better place, I'd start with the complete lack of bears in refrigerators. There need to be more bears in fridges. That's all. Moving on!

Lids: Lids and I have been friends a long time. This guy is really into pipe tobacco, golf, and novelty belt buckles. If Lids was an animal other than a homo sapien, I'd pin him somewhere in the "stream-lined and amphibious" category that we got so familiar with in high school biology. 

Skills that need to be put on Lids' resume include "the best source for instant inside jokes", "uncomfortably close Jim Carrey look-alike", and "can stack three golf balls on top of each other in less than a minute like that guy on Minute to Win It". Does anyone actually watch that show? Yeah...didn't think so. 

Lids has excellent fashion sense, hence the argyle shirt and page-boy hat. I hope you enjoy his cameos on the blog!

Best Lids Quote: *math math math* "Hey Grace, what would you do if cats and dogs just started falling from the ceiling?"


Sensei Slim: Slim is the maverick of our cast. This guy has the uncanny ability to be irritatingly good at anything he tries in about six seconds. His many interests include accidental self-injury, taunting horses, and working as a giant pretzel on a street corner. 

If I were ever to be in a bar fight and I could only pick three other people to fight on my team, I'd pick Stonewall Jackson, Optimus Prime, and Slim. 

Slim is about eight pounds and like eight feet tall. 

He is the proud owner of a Nissan Sentra that I break somehow almost every time I ride shotgun. 

He has a charisma of twelve and currently holds three fire runes and two spiritual runes.  

Best Slim Quote: "Um...I ate a chipmunk."

 The Enchanting Wizard of Rhythm (EWoR): This is the Enchanting Wizard of Rhythm, and she has come here to tell you all about the rhythms of the Universe. She's really into produce, electronica, and harnesses the power of Super-Awkward-Nova (a power only known to a select few). 

The concept of time is irrelevant to EWoR. 

EWoR has the ability to attract strange circumstances, so when I'm in need of a seriously excellent adventure, she's the go-to gal. 

EWoR is a music genie, providing life with apt soundtracks. 

EWoR and her husband are desperately trying to pawn off their cats. They currently have a fantastic "one and a half cat" sale. 

Best EWoR Quote: "I do believe that was an inside-thought that escaped to the outside."