"This Kind of Thing Only Happens When I Hang Out with You"

It should be said before next week's blog that, I, the Jump Seat Pixie, and my good friend of many years, The Enchanting Wizard of Rhythm, are an unstoppable force of awkward. In fact, we're the astronomical equivalent of awkward. In her (the EWoR's) words, we are "Super-Awkward-Nova"...

I can't exactly explain how our friendship came to fruition approximately eleven years ago. All I remember is a suspicious amount of paper mache' and green paint, along with a lot of nonsensical seven-year-old rambling from myself. 

I can't say things have changed much since then... 

It takes an impressive amount of patience for a nearly-thirty-year-old to befriend a semi-zealous eighteen-year-old, but then again... we're usually too busy wreaking havoc and destruction on our present environments to annoy each other...

The only true difficulty in our friendship, however, is this: combined, the JSP and the EWoR are MAGNETS for the WEIRDEST crap to just waltz into our radius. Anything feasibly strange, you name it, we've probably seen it while hanging out or are fated to see it soon. 

 
Which brings me to one of our most epic misadventures that took place last summer...

Now, if you must understand something about EWoR, she's a bit of a Foodie, which is a good thing because she has access to awesome and tasty places nearby and has an almost illegal knowledge of all thing produce...

Which means that many of our adventures involve the search for delicious things. Hence, this adventure takes place near a farmer's market north of the Jump Seat Lair (aka my house). The market was located on a system of dikes near the Sound which are preserved by other Foodies and eco-students, making it sort of a park. It was an adventure starting off with promise...until we saw it...

This big...awesome...ROCK.

And like any real adventurers, EWoR and I decided to climb this giant rock in the hopes of creating an awesome memory with the view of the dikes...

As we ascended this gigantic rock of wonder and mystery, I began to let my imagination run wild with the wonderous possibilities of what might in fact be on top of this rock. Oh, the excitement! Oh, the intrigue! There were surely things most beautiful and interesting atop this giant rock: and we were the ONLY geniuses to have had this idea in the entire park! I thought of all the different things we might find with joy...

Oh, how naive the unprepared!

As we reached the summit of this enormous rock, the anticipation was almost too much to bear...until...at last...we reached the lip of the final ledge...

...only for our effervescent feelings of accomplishment and general epicness to be shot down like Dick Cheney's hunting buddies...

Lo and behold, what sat before us in all his pasty glory, was one definitely strange and naked man...

With the reflexes of a puma, EWoR turned sharply and began skipping back down the side of the rock as Nakers shouted desperately, his voice cracking with embarrassment, "DON'T LAUGH! PLEASE, DON'T LAUGH!" Stifling our cries of hilarity and shock, we assured him we had no such intention and shuffled back down the rock in a daze, the whole time trying to shift our mental projections in other directions...

After we landed back on sweet, sweet Earth, our hopes of a wonderful watery view smashed to pieces forever and day, EWoR and I decided the only way to remedy this assault on our pyschies was to get some delicious, organic ice cream at the Market nearby. Laughing simply to shake the terror out of our bodies, the EWoR put the perfect punctuation mark on our adventure:

Next week's blog will have a guest author! 

- JSP